Sometimes I think – if only I could do this over, or give me a chance to do that again, etc. Flawed is the past, confused is the present, perfect is the future. It is interesting, this human experience, and the desire to improve. For ince, if I could do it over, I would not have bought a car until a few years after I graduated from college. Cars are expensive to own, and often sit unused.

My brother complained that I never write to you anymore. I think he is just lazy. He doesn’t have a diary in which I can look up things about his life. I feel that there is unbalanced communications between us. He told me he was going to get a cat, but I don’t know if he did. He told me he was going to work on a new project, but I don’t know if he is.

The thorn remains. It’s removal is a slow and steady process, which is painful n its own right. Somewhere, somehow, it will be removed. Breast stroke today. Innnteresting.

Brian and I went out for dinner tonight and when the meal was finished, the topic of tip came up. He suggested 15%, to which I responded “you are generous for a med student.” Chaos, argument, hurt, discussion and peace followed. He recommended that I learn to be more in the normative. I can be a cheap asshole in some respects, no doubt about it. But I think that I can be very generous when I choose to be – I think that I am a wide variety of things and although I can be pigeon-holed by specific behavior, I don’t think you can do so in general.

I wake up, kiss my wife, and roll out of bed. It is early – the sun still sleeps. I head for the pool, arriving as it opens. My swimming is effortless; the water and I have made our peace. My mind whirls, analyzing and organizing my schedule and priorities for the day. I leave the pool, refreshed and alert. I return home, to help my wife make breakfast and get the children ready for school.

How do I celebrate my independence? By being a complete and utter anti-social nerd. I slept in, played on the computer, went into work (where I goofed off and watched two movies), got some delicious Thai take-out – and am now winding down with a glass of wine and an rsync. I’m very curious how Bailey will take the fireworks tonight; which reminds me, I wonder if I will be able to see something cool from my deck.